Kouzes 6 & 7

Chapter 6
Generate power
It was my sophomore year in high school and I was the Sports Editor of our school newspaper, the Salishian. It was the end of the year and school elections were coming up soon for the following year, as well as applications for top news positions. My advisor, Ms. Woodhouse always made sure that I felt that I was valued and a key member to our team and to the school. She was very adamant about encouraging me to run for class president and to take on the job of Yearbook Editor for the following year.
I was very hesitant and didn't believe I was capable enough to accomplish the high demands that these positions required, yet with her encouragement and tenacious bothering, I completed both applications and passed with flying colors, gaining a large majority vote for student body president and a "shoo-in" for Yearbook Editor, according to Woodhouse. 

The time that I felt so incredibly without any power or direction was during the week of national signing day, a time in the first week of February where high school seniors politically commit to a collegiate athletic team. At this time I had my MSU Letter of Intent hanging over my head as well as very drawn out wait to hear from University of Oregon as far as my prospects to run for the team there. I felt so out of control and that my life was up to the higher powers who only needed to check a simple box to make or break my future. I felt like Icarus flying too close to the sun and not by my own accord. It was easily one of the worst and stressful weeks I've experienced yet. 

Thanks to the persistent encouragement from the beloved Ms. Woodhouse, I continued to climb the ladder of leadership in Journalism. By senior year, I had gained the position of Editor for the school newspaper and was even writing pieces for the local papers as well. I had an incredible team behind me and an ever supportive mentor. Our advisor was new to the program so I really was in charge of everything and everyone. It wasn't a power trip though. It was a give and take of a large pool of talents and creative minds and great leadership all around. I was so blessed to have such an incredible team eager to learn, and even more eager to write. 

Reflecting, I can continue to be a catalyst to others and their individual greatness and successes. I can continue to be full of inspiration and passion and most importantly encouragement. By pushing others to step outside their comfort zones and keep striving forward, greatness and dreams really can be achieved! 

The paradox that is...
Leaders turn their followers into leaders. Wait...but do they?
Many leaders, including myself, struggle with the art of delegation. 
Many battle with this because in their minds they believe they can do it better, faster, nicer and they understand what is needed to be done so they just do it. 
Also many, I believe have a degree of personal fallacy- an idea that they truly are the best. 
You should delegate because non of these ideas are actually true. You have a team. Use them. Each of these individuals have a unique perspective and set of ideas to bring to the table. By using them you can further propel yourself and your creativity as well as the entire team, company, branch, or what have you. It's more efficient, sensible, and delegation really does work when you remember that you aren't god. 

1.Trust
2.Encouragement
3. Confidence
4. Inspiration

1. Thoughts? GO!
2.  How do we start?
3. How do we change this up to be different from the last
4. What are your visions for this particular task?
5. What sections are you most interested/ passionate about?
6. When is our deadline? 

Chapter 7.
I. After being team captain and MVP for my sophomore and junior year in both cross-country and track, I was awarded a plaque that meant even more to me; and my coaches I believe. At my last ever team award banquet for cross- country I was given the coaches award. My two coaches, Matt Seeley and Jenny Brown made a very moving speech about how over the years I had demonstrated the most leadership, sportsmanship, team-spirit and skill. I remember them touching on the fact that I also not only been just an athlete but a good friend to both of them as well as the team and was always one to go to to double check training plans, workouts, race plans, dinner events..yada yada yada. 
I have never felt so appreciated and loved in my life. In addition, all of the younger girls had put together a personal present on top of the plaque and gifts from the coaches. They were all little inside jokes and little things that touched on things that I would do or say. I cried. A lot. There was just so much love and appreciation! 

II. Her name was Lucy. Its the first day of 3G at Camp Warren and Meghan Cosgrove, my incredibly inspiring boss had just finished screaming out the cabin list to mine and Marisa's cabin full of first-time boundary water warriors. Seven girls total, Lucy was immediately the most confident and least shy out of the group. This little twelve year old was oozing with spunk and excitement. 
We went through the first day getting to know one another and you could see the carefree way Lucy would carry herself just put the rest of the girls at ease. We spend the first night setting out our trail gear in preparation for our early morning departure and by this point Lucy has singlehandedly psyched up the entire cabin for our five day adventure in the Boundary Waters, including my co, Marisa and I -a nd this definitely hasn't been our first rodeo in tripping, but there was something about how Lucy and the rest of the girls were talking that made this one seem even more special. Turns out special was an understatement. 
Never have I ever enjoyed myself more, gotten so close with my campers, laughed so much, and been so proud. 
These trips aren't the easiest things in the world, yet because they are the shortest ones Warren offers and because both of the trip leaders, Marisa and I, have quite a bit experience on trail it was possible to make it a bit easier if needed. But was that what our girls wanted? Absolutely not! They asked to be pushed and challenged. And they received! 
As a trip leader, you always focus on pushing your campers past their mental, physical, and emotional boundaries. But with limits of course. Our main focus is for them to feel in power and confident in their abilities and their work with a team and experience being a personal leader. 
We gave them the opportunity to do it all and I don't think there was a single time that Lucy did not offer to try something new, take a canoe on her back in a known to be hard portage or paddle in the wind. Her eagerness to do and try anything rubbed off on the other girls quickly! By the second day Marisa and I weren't even paddling and rarely took a canoe or pack on portages. We only assisted in navigation and by the end of the trip they even had experience cooking trail food! We were basically there to make sure non of them got hurt and keep the group moving but ultimately, it was the girls who did it all. 
The most inspiring thing of it all was that whenever the going got tough, it was Lucy who would be out in the canoe singing or screaming words of encouragement to the rest of the paddlers, or just laughing and telling ridiculous jokes to lighten everyone's mood and keep us all moving. She really was a natural born leader. 
The last night at camp we have a tradition called firewalk. Among other things, it is a chance we as a camp take to recognize exemplary campers, one from each of the three sections. The award is called "firestarter" where they actually physically start the fire at the front of the room and ultimately kick of the night's festivities. When our intermediate section was called together to nominate a camper Marisa and I were jumping with excitement and determination. Lucy HAD to get this award. There just wasn't any other person that we saw that was anywhere near her level. Luckly, the rest of the intermediate section agreed with our statements and by consensus, Lucy had it. 
On the last night, as Marisa and I were describing Lucy we both burst into tears. Tears of pride. This little girl had made such a difference on us and the group as a whole. I was taught so from her and even learned more about myself from her. I will never forget this little Orono hockey player with enough spunk to save the world.  

The time that got us kicked out of Safeway. Hour 6&7

There was a week about three weeks ago that was crazy busy, full of my volunteering.

On that week we were learning in class to grow from our challengers. To learn from them. To respect them and to not hold them in a place of anger. 

Boy was I ready to go out and practice it too! Although, maybe creator was listening to me too closely when I excitedly said I was ready for the challenge. 

On a friday afternoon I was set up at my little card table outside of the entrance to Safeway. As I like to say I, in the most cordial way possible, pestered every individual who walked through the doors asking, "Is your voter registration up to date?" And always asking how their day was, or just simply saying hello. 

Most individuals are an easy judge of character. Either they are interested or they are not. You can feel the vibe and I like to think I'm pretty good at judging whether I should ask a followup question of whether they would be interested in a free, non- partisan voters guide or would like to register for an absentee ballot. 

This particular day was; in sum, bizarre. 

In an earlier post I talked about how I registered an ex-felon for the first time. By this time in my experience working for Montana Women Vote I had registered multiple ex-felons as well as a few homeless individuals. Some of which fell in both categories. 

In the shift before mine, my mentor- Jan Strout was telling me how she did just that thing only an hour before I came to relieve her. When we accomplish something like this, we see it as an achievement and something to be celebrated and the individuals should commended for their efforts. 

On my shift this day; however, I did not encounter this.

But I did encounter, and came to find out in the last sentence this man said to me, that he was a cop. 

This is what happened. 

As he was walking into the building I greeted him the same way as I had done to every other individual. He was tall, with short silver hair and wearing a black leather jacket. I'm saying this because usually it's not the hardest to pin point why an individual says that they can't register to vote. In any case, when he hurriedly said that he could not vote because he was a felon, I said "Okay, well what would you say if I told you that in Montana you can register to vote?" The man responded by saying that he would talk to me on his way out. 

I happened to catch his eye as he was leaving and he made a bee line towards me. 

He kept asking how it was possible and I continued to hand him pamphlet after pamphlet explaining the rights of ex-felons in Montana. After he seemed satisfied and I once again asked him if he would like to register to vote, he quickly turned on his heels and stated matter-of-factly, "I'm a cop, thanks though."

I was pretty upset to be honest. 

In a way, I felt played. Played out of my time to potentially reach out to other individuals who were walking into Safeway. Played out of my credibility as a person who is actually trying to help an ex-fellon, not belittle them. I also felt disappointed in the man. I was shocked that he was unaware of this clause saying that ex-felons were allowed to vote here in the state of Montana. I expect the average citizen on the street to not recognize the existence of it but a cop? Come on. 

Anyways. That was just the start of my day. 

The hard part was to come at the end of my shift. 

Again, there was a man walking through the doors of Safeway. And once again, I greeted this man the way I greet every individual, with a smile and honest interest in the person. The man did not seem to be interested and continued on his way. 

However, as he walked out and I nicely said to him, "have a good day sir," he made his way towards my table. He quickly started shooting me questions about the organization and what we were doing. I responded by telling him that we were a non-profit organization canvassing the local area to register individuals to vote. 

He responded by saying, "But I am not a woman, why did you ask me in the first place."

I told him that although our name is "Montana Woman Vote" we are here for anyone and everyone. I explained to him how our focus was to educate and mobilize low-income women and their allies to participate in the democratic process as informed voters, policy advocates, and leaders within the community. 

Then came the harassment. 

The man started asking me why we are pushing women to become engaged. 

I cooly responded it was because there are many issues regarding the rights of women especially when it came to reproductive health care that are on the chopping block in the ballot initiatives this year. 

He then started shooting me question after question, trying to get me to point fingers and name individuals and parties. Asking why I thought he as a tax payer should be paying for a teenagers, and I quote, "fuck up." Why it was him who should be paying nine dollars for birth control. -For the record, it's about three times that amount for the average teen to get birth control. 

I continued to say that I was simply out to get the vote and by no means to point fingers or to push my political views on anyone else.

But the man wouldn't stop. 

He continued to harass me trying to pull out words that knew would upset him. He started saying things like, "you might want to learn a thing or two before you go out preaching about shit you don't know." and "sounds like you need to get your facts straight."

By this time I had shut down. I am not one to give up on a fight, especially when it is something I believe in, but I knew there was no winning or even compromise with this man.

Yet, he continued to belittle, attack, talk down, and stand over me. He would not stop trying to pry out words that I knew would only make him more upset. 

Never did I talk down about a party. Never did I say anything bad about a specific politician. 

Ultimately, I stopped talking. Partly because I had nothing to say, partly because I was doing my best to hold back the soon to come tears. And let me point out, i'm not one to cry. 

It was at this point that he started asking for names and numbers. My supervisor and our branch...yada yada yada. I was happy to give it to him because I knew he would soon be on his way and I also knew that I didn't do a single thing wrong. 

Finally he, oddly enough, wished me a good day and turned away. 

I had about five more minutes left of my shift and was the last one for the day so I packed up all of my papers, table, and chairs and rushed over to by boss's house.

I broke down almost immediately. She could tell there was something wrong and as I sputtered out the events she couldn't believe it. 

After I had calmed down a little we talked it out. 

We talked about how she has run into individuals with the same motives as this man; to belittle, degrade, and talk down to women. His motive was not to learn about the organization, it was to stomp on it and myself. 

I learned quite a lot from this experience. I recognize that not all individuals are open to social change, even a change that has been around for a few decades now. I recognize that not all are happy about young people, young women, becoming involved in things that matter. Becoming involved in the white man's world. I also recognize that there are, and will always be people who will remain stuck in their ways. Its the way one chooses to react to that person that may make a difference. 

As a result of this day, Safeway forbade our organization from ever coming to work there again, thanks to his frivolous complaint. My boss told me that she encouraged the Safeway CEO to further investigate the man who complained. It may give her some insight to the events. 

I also made some decisions that day. I decided that it is my job, and my right to be out doing the kind of work I am doing. This day did not stop me in the slightest bit, rather, it further propelled me with a newfound passion and sense of meaning. He did not do what he came there that day to do- to stop me in my tracks. I would be lying if I said I wasn't traumatized or hurt. Because I sure was. But it made me value my rights and my privileges and to stand up for what I believe in. No matter how hard the hits may be. 

Kouzes chapter 4

My past as prologue to my future

1. Studying abroad in New Zealand for a year: First experience of travel and independence. Also where I found my love for running
2. Camp Warren: Gave me sense of self, leadership, and confidence.
3. Meeting Greg Mortenson and interviewing him on this efforts for bringing schools to Pakistan.
4. Mission trip to Israel: Continued to broaden my world view, became increasingly involved in politics.
5. Journalist/ editor of newspaper: Became involved in rights of women and children in Africa and the middle east.
6. Wilderness First Responder course: Inspired my love for emergency medicine and want for medical training. 

I find a theme in culture involvement and the passion for discovering new worlds. I find that my love for writing can and has been translated into giving those who may not have a voice, a story. I also find my love for emergency and back country care translate into my current degree in Nursing. 

What I am struggling with now is how could I bring these two passions and meanings into one? 

II. Imagine the Possibilities 
My vision is to empower women through the means of education.
I believe many individuals around the world have begun the campaign for women's rights and if I could get the ball rolling somehow, in a larger way, that if I were gone others could step up and continue my work. I believe other people can become inspired by the work that I hope to be doing someday. I can see others wanting to do their part in providing women with the basic needs of education and saying that this is also a project that they want to become committed to. 

My project is like growing a heart out of stem cells. It's tedious. It takes time. It may not always work, but it is possible. 

One land, two stories

With justice served as of Osama Bin Laden's daring capture and execution, one might wonder what was his beef with the U.S.A. in the first place? The multiple branches of his hatred, and others in the Arab world, can be reduced to one seed: Our nearly unconditional support of Israel.

            The modern nation of Israel was created following World War II despite the fact that Palestinian Arabs had been living there, pretty much for as long as homosapiens have been on two legs. So, if the United Nations determined that a group of people had the right to move into Montana, kill many of us in the process, and treat the remaining people as dirt, you might not be endeared to them either. For our Native American elders, this is more than an exercise in empathy.

            But back to the Israeli conflict. There was a time, not too long ago, when Israel and their neighbor Egypt signed a momentous peace accord. This occurred after decades of bloodshed between two Arabian nations, Egypt and Israel, and just a mere 5 years following the peril of the Yom Kippur War. Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian president Muhammad Anwar al-Sadat met at the U.S. presidential retreat, Camp David, in 1978. Brokered with President Jimmy Carter, the two signed the first peace agreement ever drafted between these two powers.

Prior to this agreement, Egypt and Israel had been enemies for nearly three decades and were in disputed combat at least four times in thirty years. At these tense Camp David negotiations, each party refused to negotiate directly, using Carter as mediator. Throughout the thirteen days of an ultimate game of quid-pro-quo, both parties endured much pressure and an immense amount of gridlock. For example, on the 11^th day, Sadat declared he would unilaterally terminate the negotiation proceedings and leave Camp David without signing any agreement.

            Within the text of the Camp David Accords, Israel and Egypt recognized and accepted that the recent visits combined with the “peace proposals made my both leaders, as well as the warm reception of these missions by the peoples of both countries have created an unprecedented opportunity for peace which must not be lost if this generation and future generations are to be spared in the tragedies of war.” [source 1]

          One of the most crucial aspects in which to keep in mind while studying the Camp David Accords, and with the Israeli, Palestinian conflict in general is the fact that the state of Israel is known as the “cradle of civilization” in the Middle East and, most importantly, is the birthplace of three prominent religions. Since the creation of Israel, people of the Middle East have not had the luxury of peace. In efforts to reconcile, and pursue peace in the region Sadat and Begin joined together to sign one of the greatest peace documents of its time, and furthered the Middle East one major step forward in the peace process.

Peace requires respect for the sovereignty, territorial integrity and political independence of every state in the area and their right to live in peace within secure and recognized boundaries free from threats or acts of force. Progress toward that goal can accelerate movement toward a new era of reconciliation in the Middle East marked by cooperation in promoting economic development, in maintaining stability and in assuring security.


Shaul Gabbay, a Jew born in Israel, and Amin Kazak, a muslim born in Palestine, came to Montana State University to speak about how they learned to work together, despite their deeply rooted disagreements. Although these two men and their histories have shed far too much blood over the decades they believe that together they can work to find a peaceful solution. 

It is apparent that although they agree to work together, they still do not - and probably never will agree on the terms such as "who's land is it anyway?" But this fortuitous friendship led to a very inspiring night. 

Each began by introducing their individual background and connection to their homeland. I have been interested and involved in many talks, discussions and even arguments over the sticky subject of who deserves the land, who should be there, and how in the heck do we fix it such deep animosity? I greatly appreciated the form of respect each held for the other and their poise while listening to one's claims. It almost felt like a court hearing. Where the defense states their evidence and claim then comes the states evidence and claims. Each are required to listen with respect and poise yet hold their one credibility by each own's rebuttals. 

I was very impressed at was excited about gaining yet another window into each of Gabbay and Kazak's world the kind of work that these two men are doing may even one day be compared with Carter's efforts of peace in the late 70's with the Camp David Accords. 

Ultimately, upon the signing of the Camp David Accords on September 17, 1978 was one of the greatest peace negotiations and examples of diplomacy of our time. By the efforts of three diplomats joining together to come to a single answer to one of the most difficult questions in the book- what to do about the perpetual conflicts within the Middle East, these men displayed poise and respect and showed an alternative to negotiations besides fighting and bloodshed. President Carter praised Begin and Sadat in their resolution saying that it is “a great step forward, and sure proof of the tremendous courage of Prime Minister Begin and Sadat.” For a time, hope of a some-day peaceful Middle East was renewed. The stimulated debates between all three men will be remembered as one of the largest steps made towards peace, in a place where conflict will most likely never cease. Sadat and Begin were later awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1978 for their bilateral efforts at peace. Former President Jimmy Carter was also awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, in 2002 for what presenters claimed “his decades of work seeking peaceful solutions and promoting social and economic justice.”

I do believe that Kazak and Gabbay will be able to glue together the broken land and it's people one day. There's a quote that I have always followed, "start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. These men are on their way to doing and modeling the way for mending the impossible. 

Source 1: Original Document of Camp David Accords

Reconciliation: Islam, Democracy, and the West

While a number of empowered US women have crashed through the glass ceiling of leadership, odds are that few women in underdeveloped countries will ever get a seat at any table of leadership. So, how did our socially oppressive and backward “frenemy,” Pakistan, produce and twice elect a female leader, Benazir Bhutto, years ago, and ahead of a woman becoming president of the United States? 

Bhutto, assassinated five years ago when campaigning for a third term, was well connected as the oldest child of a former prime minister. But, Pakistan is not a monarchy. Undeniably, it was the character of ‘the iron lady,’ as she was known, and her interpersonal and political savvy that made her appealing to both the uneducated masses and intellectual elite of the typically repressive country.

For me, that Bhutto led within an oppressive, male dominant society is something to be celebrated. That she ultimately made the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ fearlessly hammering against the ruling regime’s glass ceiling, made her a heroine for women and lovers of liberty, worldwide.

While her courage inspires, her leadership qualities inform. Friend, speechwriter, and advisor Mark Siegel produced the documentary "BHUTTO" in his way of teaching the world about this fantastic woman and friend of his. Siegel received a 2012 Peabody award as well as receiving nominations for an Emmy from his efforts in producing this film.

I was incredibly moved by the showing of this documentary and was further inspired by the personal connection I was able to make with Dr. Siegel. This man has moved mountains in and of itself. He is not only an exemplary foreign policy advisor and political consultant, but teacher as well. By his ability to move out of his personal loss to help others gain their own knowledge is awe-inspiring. 

There is so much of Bhutto and Siegel’s work that I have used as a guide in efforts of achieving my personal life goals. My big, hairy, audacious goal of empowering women through the means of education seems just a little more attainable thanks to these two incredible individuals. 

Kouzes Chapter 5

I. Check for limiting assumptions
1. I can't do this because lack of funding (+) find sponsors
2. I can't do this because I can't take time off from nursing school (-)
3. I don't have the time and commitment for such a project (-) 
4. I can't do this because its too far away (+) buck up, write letters
5. I can't do this because it is too big of an immersion (+) again, buck up

II. Look outside
1. Find a mentor/ advisor
2. Begin making contacts with organizations/ individuals who are doing similar projects
3. Start brainstorming with individuals with a variety of perspectives to get a vast amount of ideas. 

III. Get started in small ways
I have been dying to spend a year in Patagonia through NOLS- National Outdoor Leadership School. My goal is to gain a large amount of clinical experience throughout this year-long. Not only does this course offers 27 credit hours in biology, environmental studies, leadership techniques, skills practicum, risk management, expedition planning, and cultural studies and is based off a skill building curricullum. There I would be gaining an increased expertise in mountaineering, fly fishing, sea kayaking, backpacking, and rock climbing, as well as participating in a local service project and gaining increased knowledge of the culture over the course of 135 days. In addition, I would gain my WEMT-wilderness EMT certification over the course of the semester. 
My first step in possibly making this dream a reality is to research possible scholarships and grants. NOLS is the best of the best, and the best certainly doesn't not mean cheap. The largest obstacle right now is funding. The course itself is 27, 500 for the 2013-2014 year. 

What would that bring you?

While reading Peter Senge and Dave Meldahl's articles on vision based leadership and the power of looking into your future, I found myself repeating the last lines of the poem, Invictus by William Ernest Henley; "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."

Thinking forward into my future scares the crap out of me. And using declarative present tense sentences about my future life...well I may have just pooped my pants. However, at the same time it gives me a crazy sense of exhilaration and excitement.Knowing that you have the power to control your destiny with some hard work and your blood, sweat and tears is pretty dang inspiring. The notion of the world being your oyster is almost overwhelming. 

But what do I really want? 

In Senge's exercise of discovering our personal vision, finding the end result was not as nearly as easy as I thought. 

The first time I only made it through the first three steps of the exercise. 

First, we went about determining the way we want to exist in our future selves. That alone was just a little frightening. Next came the reflection on the vision component. When I chose my declarative statement of what I would be doing I was a little stuck. The way I envision my future is through a series of steps. I complete one step then envision the next. I'm a one-step-at-a-time kind of girl. Envisioning that final stepping stone was slightly difficult because I also recognize that just like the "Goosebumps" books I read in elementary school, our final result could change with just a simple decision to go to page 54 rather than 72. 

But that's not to say I don't make goals. Before I dive into anything whether it be athletics, school or work I always take the time to write out goals. I have immediate, mid-term, and long term goals. This has been especially crucial in my athletics career.  I have a special journal that I carry with me almost always. This journal is filled with every past season's goals and times for every race I've ever competed in. When I was attempting to break five minutes in the mile last year not only did I write my finish time of 4:58 in my journal for my season peak, but I had sticky notes posted EVERYWHERE. In my dorm, on my mirror, in my locker, on my desktop, my screen saver on my phone...when I say everywhere, I mean it. 

Not only did I have my mile time goal, but I had the splits calculated as to how I would achieve it. Every 400 was calculated down to the second, every 200 was broken down to milliseconds. I had a goal and a plan as to how I was going to achieve it. The hard part was over right? Ha! If only it were that easy...this is just the beginning...

Anyone can write down times on a neon post-it, but not everyone can follow through with them. 

It takes courage, perseverance, determination and a hell of a lot of dedication. You cannot be afraid of the inevitable pain. As an athlete you know that pain will come, it's just your choice of whether you want to cross that threshold and embrace it. 

The same goes with being a leader. In my experience I always have goals. I think calling them goals rather than a "vision" is less scary to me. In my position as a leader I also break it down in the immediate, mid-term and long-term goals. Additionally, not only do I write the goals, but I verbalize them and make them known. When working with a team, the goals are formulated as a group and everyone is on the same page. I make sure to re-visit the goals in meetings and revise them when needed. Meldahl recounts a womans newfound leadership taking on a "struggling territory," she, "led her team through a process to develop their region's values and chart their direction for the next year and beyond." When the time to make a decision, the company evaluated the decisions refrencing off of this chart. 

When one has a grounded base in values, goals, or a vision- whichever you prefer to call them, the success rate of the individual, team, or company thrives almost exponentially. After all, we are the masters of our ships, the captain of our souls. It's up to us as to how we want to command it. 

Society's mis(understandings)

As much as I enjoyed listening to Margaret Wheatley's rant of how everything is meant to be; even the biggest upsets, I couldn't help but think that this woman is just a little too optimistic for my liking. And that's saying a lot, because I am not the kind of girl who sees the glass half-empty. Ever. 
But that's not to say that I do not identify with some of her assertions within her scientific rhetorical essay, "The Unplanned Organization." She asserts that, "In the world of self-organizing, we see change as power, a presence, a capacity that is available." I am continuing to learn to identify this in my personal changes and transitions.
Her third tenet of "Unplanned Organization,"was easy enough to identify with. Wheatley says, "We live in a universe that is alive, creative, and experimenting all the time to discover what's possible." I can agree with this particular assertion. For as long as we can remember, human kind have been constantly exploring what is possible within the world, from searching to the smallest microbes to the farthest away galaxies. In her opinion, Wheatley says, "The reason life seeks to organize is so it can explore its diversity, so that it can explore its creative potential." This declaration makes sense, and in my opinion, is not overly confident in our society. Life is indeed self-organizing and we do constantly seek to create patterns, structures, organizations, occasionally without any pre-planned directive. However, when she states that all messes and mistakes are us just experimenting and simply discovering what is possible...well I think she may be getting a tad bit overzealous. Yes, we do learn from our mistakes but does that give us permission to not try our damndest to get it right the first time? By her fifth tenet I began to think she existed in some ethereal land where everything is pretty and pink and we get to play all the time. I may be being too hard on Margaret. There were a few things within her essay that I really appreciated. For example, her appreciation of identity and the way in which life organizes around what is meaningful to us in one way or another. And her hint at community. She states that we cannot exist in isolation, we exist within a co-creative world. This all is inspiring, yet i'm still slightly skeptical.
In his book, "The Fifth Discipline," Peter Senge also speaks of societies mistakes and problems. But these problems arose from a once thought solution.
Within chapter four Senge gave many examples of the way today's problems come from yesterday's "solutions." One example he gave was the horse Boxer from Animal Farm. The idea of compensating feedback came into play. The harder Boxer worked, the more work he had. Not only do we see this in old texts but in the present as well. For example, our efforts to help developing countries prosper. As these countries gained agricultural support and food, death rates began to drop due to malnutrition; however, as the higher net population began to grow, so did the numbers of malnutrition. Therefore, no solution and progress was actually made.
What we forget sometimes is that cause and effect may not always be closely related in time and space. When we brainstorm a seemingly flawless solution to a problem we may not foresee any re-occuring effect from this "solution."
How can we anticipate such an event from happening? And how can we begin to cease the perpetual cycle of aggression our American society has become engrossed in?
Why are we at a stand still?
Answer: because "conventional forecasting, planning, and analysis methods are not equipped to deal with such dynamic complexity," says Senge in his chapter "A shift of Mind."
After all, the War on Terrorism is, most fundamentally, a problem of dynamic complexity. The type of insight required to look deeply into all underlying causes and all possible cures requires a perspective of interrelationships. And the US does not view interrelationships as a positive, rather, a threat. It requires seeing patterns of change, not just snapshots. In chapter four he spoke of how you "can have the cake and eat it too...but not at once." To translate, he is saying that sometimes our perceived dilemmas are not dilemmas at all. It's just a snapshot of a problem. The true dilemma needs a wide angle lens to view the issue as a whole.
So maybe that's what we need to do. Instead of honing in on the problem and trying to jump to the solution, we may just need to step back and do a primary assessment then see where we need to go from there.
In my medical training this was the first thing we learned when arriving onto a scene. We had it engraved in our brains, no matter how bloody or gorey the scene may be we need it just as a self preservation technique. When stepping back and looking at the big picture it gives us time to settle our hear rate down, get calm, and take a big breath before diving into the huge task at hand.

Sticky notes: My personal life saver

Sticky notes save my life. Quite literally. Without my sticky notes, planners, and lists on lists I would be lost. It would be nearly impossible for me to complete my million and one to-do's, because I for one simply cannot remember it all!
Our readings of organization and teachings on how to excel, as well as red flags for failure was very interesting to me.
The first article I read by David Allen who asserted the Power of the Next-Action Decision. I never thought about how easy it could be to accomplish the huge list that is always staring at me in the face by asking myself the simple question of, "what's the next action?"
I recognize that when having an action plan, and making a decision, can be the difference between things simply "showing up" or "blowing up."
I've experienced the moments of panic when I completely overlook an important deadline and realize it in the knick of time. I become complete and utter chaos.
I am the type of person who transitions very poorly. Ask any family member or friend...or past boyfriends for that matter...of mine and they can testify to my claim. I need time to process, think, and prepare myself for an event or switch. If I haven't sat on it long enough or if it is thrown in my face out of the blue, I shut down. I break down and feel as though I have no control of what is happening. This is why I need list, deadlines and specific plans of how I will meet each of my individual deadlines.
Which is what leads me to the next article I read, by Steven Covey. Covey laid out a very understandable and relatable matrix of our time management and how our different responsibilities may lay in the "Urgent and important, not urgent but important, not important but urgent, and not urgent and not important."
Covey also talked about breaking down each of our tasks so that each sub task is not as scary and daunting as just a single word written down in the midst of our list. I realized this could really help me in one assignment that I've been meaning to- or trying to- tackle for about two weeks now.
In one of my nursing classes I am raising a virtual baby. Easy right? Not so much. The first steps are pretty easy, you plug in personal traits of yourself and the site spits out either a boy or girl for you. I got a baby boy who I named Keegan and gave dark hair, olive skin and blue eyes. All that was no problem. Then came the actual raising part. Based off of my parenting decisions Keegan could either turn out to be either a great child, or a rather terrible one. Along with these decisions you have to do miniature write ups as the baby develops. That's where I am stuck. Lately I've just been writing "Virtual Baby" on my to-do list, hoping I'll be able to sign in and just jump right back into it.
Now, after reading Covey's advice, instead of writing "virtual baby, " on my to-do list, I'm writing "Complete 18-month write up on Keegan." According to Covey, by specifying this task, the job will be easier to tackle, and quite honestly, when I think of it this way the task isn't nearly as daunting.
The final reading was written by Ellen Van Velsor and Jean B. Leslie. In their article, titled "Why Executives Derail, they talked of the universal themes of why some make it to the top and hit it big, and why others who looked as though they had great potential crumble and burn. The four themes of derailment include problems with interpersonal relationships, failure to meet business objectives, failure to build and lead a team and, the inability to change/ adapt during a transition.
The re-occuring theme I saw between this article and Covey's and Allen's was organizational skills. When an individual utilizes good organizational and delegation skills, the chances of you falling to performance problems and crashing are greatly reduced.
In this article they single out women in one particular study. In this study they found that classic derailment themes were that women were unable to adapt to a boss/ culture, had experienced performance problems, came across as overly ambitious, and/ or did not have the ability to lead subordinates or to be strategic. Did you know that only 12 Fortune 500 companies are run by women in 2012? And this is down from 15 last year.
Why is this? Is it because we're not as organized and lateral in thinking? Because I think it could quite possibly be the opposite. Of all the male friends I know, only a very few of them actually carry a planner, make lists, much less take notes in class. I'm sure there are plenty of outside factors in the success of an individual, and the success of a women versus a man but could organizational skills be the bottom of the problem? Or is it simply an outlier?
Questions aside, these three readings were exponentially beneficial for me in my personal vendetta of organization and time management and I will definitely be utilizing the tips I gathered!
Now i'm off to cross off yet another thing on my never-ending to-do list! Yay!

What's at stake for women in the 2012 elections? hour 5

On Wednesday, September 26, I joined a diverse group of women who are spearheading efforts to engage, empower, and educate women about the issues that matter to our lives, our families, higher education, and our communities.
The panelists included Lindsay Murdock, ASMSU Vice President; Dulaney Collins, representative from AAUW, my mentor Jan Strout, Montana Women Vote and myself! They put my profile as this: Mescalero Apache, MSU student in Nursing and Montana Women Vote canvasser. Looking back, I still don't feel as though I was qualified in the slightest sense to be on this panel but apparently Jan has heard nothing but good things back especially about issues I talked about!
When I was first asked by Jan to do this I accepted it on the spot. Partly because I don't think I've ever said no to Jan and because I thought this would be a great experience and opportunity to learn even more for myself about the upcoming ballot issues. The sort of pitch Jan made was that "because I wear so many hats, I'd be a great perspective to have," or something along those lines. The hats being a Native American woman, a past student athlete, a nursing student, from montana and a reservation...I had to cut her off and say yes before she got too much further. I definitely don't see myself as anyone special when it comes to knowledge and opinions. But here I was, all dressed up in a pencil skirt and heels ready to talk shop on women in politics!
The points we talked about included why Montana Women actually matter in the upcoming elections, The key issues- primarily concerning women's health care such as access to birth control, breast cancer screening, and preventative care.
Dulaney Collins spoke about pay equity and the economic fairness for women, in conjunction with promoting Equal Pay Day events. Lindsay and I spoke about access and affordability for Montana's higher education, then Jan and I both spoke on Women's health care and rights and the impacts on diverse on women.
Then things actually got exciting. For me at least.
I was slightly bored with the way the panel forum was going and was waiting for a moment to spark things up a bit. I got my chance when we started talking about strategies. We quickly established that there are multiple venues of access to a nearly exponential plethora of information out there. However, as I pointed out, there's a key part missing. The excitement and want to access. I asserted that many people in my generation are apathetic and, quite frankly, want nothing to do with politics. I was blunt and said, "Lets be honest, politics is boring. Even though there is plenty of access and availability no one has the want to actually act on the information."  After all, as many of my friends have said, "It's their fault they messed up the whole thing, when did it become our job to fix it?"
What we as individuals and corporations who are passionate about issues that are on the ballot this year, and about politics in general, need to do is ignite that spark.
We began throwing out event ideas such as "Women and Wine," but even then we're missing a huge demographic. The demographic of ME. It's individuals between the age of 18-21 who are the ones who need to be most involved in our nations elections. When our demographic doesn't speak out, it's programs for us that get cut first. Take for example, Pell Grants. Hundreds of thousands of Pell Grants have been cut over the past two years and they are continuing to get cut.
Wouldn't you think that by saying the little words as "get a say in what you pay for tuition," would fuel any individual? I thought so, but that isn't quite the case.
We also talked about how we as organizations and activists need to keep an open line of contact with our politicians. From the grassroots up. By keeping the access open to the public, more individuals can express their opinions and ask questions.
As a group, we talked about the power of women to meet our needs when united, the gender gap and the way women voters are underrepresented especially by women with low/ no incomes, rurally isolated, young, ethnic, minorities/ women of color and Native American women.
The biggest thing I took out of this day was the power of collaboration. Not only did I learn a large amount, but I also got connected with a few pretty amazing individuals, all with the same sort of passion and inspiration. I learned that even though I may not think very much about my thoughts, there are people who appreciate them and are open to listening.
After this day I even more excited to continue with my work in educating individuals.
One particular women I met, Pat Oriet, inspired me the most. She and I have been brainstorming since wednesday on ways to reach my demographic.
I was also offered a part time job working with a man our of D.C involved in Planned Parenthood!
I am so excited to see what is to come around the corner!

Worst enemy, best teacher

After a particularly nasty fight with my mom, I remember her coming into my room and sitting down with me. She talked about the pain, anger, and despair that she went through when she lost her loved big brother, Billy Scott.  I've always known there are some parts of her she doesn't talk much about, and parts that I still know very little about, so when she started talking about Billy, I perked up immediately.
In addition to the tragic hit and run story of Billy's death, she listed off at least five other events that have changed her drastically. She told me even though she had endured so much that she is appreciative and she is grateful.
She began laying out just how fortunate I was to have all the privileges I take for granted every day. Like education. And a family who has the ability to support me in everything and anything I have ever dreamt of doing. I began realizing it was not like this for my mom. She started to open up her scars for me to feel and to appreciate. She told me thanks to her moments of disruption and chaos that she appreciates every day with even more gratitude. She is grateful. Her joy and happiness that she carries every day is awe-inspiring.
Following weeks after she told me some of her stories I marveled at how well she was able to store her pain away and greet every day with so much love.
But looking back it makes sense.
I've met a few individuals who have cheated death to the most extreme levels. Because of their tragic and shocking event, they suddenly had a changed outlook in life. Every day was a gift to them. Life changing events propels one to appreciate the things that we overlook so easily.
The same can be seen with conflict.
Deidre says, with conflict comes gratitude. Not only are we grateful for the learning experience, but we are grateful for our opponent as well.
In my first journal entry I talk about the push and pull. How we meet resistance before moving further. Conflict acts in the same way. As Combs says, "The tough needs to come before good can occur."
I admit, when I am in the heat of the moment or am in an argument that appears to have no way out I do not see any good coming out of it. I actually experienced this very thing this weekend while registering people to vote, but that is for another blog post.
I recognize that though conflict and even tragedy is messy, risky and scary, it is also the very thing we need to push us forward.

Identity by design

I am from a land of jagged snow capped mountains and flowing waters.

I am from a land full of history waiting silently to be learned.

I am from parents who encourage adventure, spirit, and enthusiasm for the unknown. 

I am from a long line of chiefs and canyon runners.I am from earth, water, fire and wind. 

I am from the waters of Northern Minnesota. 

I am from solitude, independence, true thought, and travel. 

I am from my worst mistakes and largest successes. 

I am from trees, water, nature, stars, sunsets, dragonflies and the northern lights. 

I am from a land of jagged snow capped mountains and flowing waters. 

My name is Aewageshane. I am from a long line chiefs and maidens, I am from a land of jagged mountains tipped with snow and flowing water, I am from canyon lands and the hot grounds of Arizona. I am from a line of women who have taught me much of my culture through art. I have learned that art is a way of displaying a proud and unbroken tradition that links us to the generations of women who have come before us. 

Last year around this time, I attended an art viewing show hosted at the Emerson. Walking through the Montana Women in the Visual Arts Exhibit, there were many pieces that struck me with flash backs to my childhood. The elk tooth dress that had similar patterns and colors as my jingle dress I was to wear in my very first competition at the Arlee Pow-Wow was the first to catch my eye. This dress made of elk teeth and carved bone had a design layout much like my beloved dress. The way the bone curved in a half-circle around the collar, splaying outwards towards the hem, as well as the contrast in color was so similar to my very own that I felt as though it may have been mine. Comanche / Blackfoot woman Keri Jhane Myers said once, “When you wear your dress, you’re carrying the spirit of all the people who gave you the lessons of life, who made dresses before you –dresses that you can look at today and be inspired by.” Our native art and traditional clothing is such a strong link to our ancestors.  As we grow, we learn more about our past and who we are. Not only does it link us to our past, but it also bridges our culture to the future.

The next items to catch my eye were the Ya-ya dolls made out of real hair and scraps of fabric, the same dolls that I made with my most favorite and respected elder women at the Peoples Center in Pablo. I could almost smell the dried meat that would be cooking outside, and see Steven Small Salmon waiving around the tongs, laughing and telling tall tales. These elders are no longer around, however their words of wisdom remain with me today.

Then I see a piece of art that has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Caroline G. Granger painted a woman nurturing a child with her arms wrapped around, looking down adoringly. This is a picture whose pencil strokes are engrained in my brain, and is rampant throughout my house. My mother, an artist herself, has produced so many renditions of this piece incorporating the idea of Mother Theresa and a baby. However; her pieces much like Grangers, aren’t gaudy Christian pieces, they depict a dark skinned woman with long black braids wearing traditional clothing with a child in a cradleboard or wrapped in a Pendleton blanket. Throughout my infant years I was transported in a cradleboard adorned with beadwork much like the beading that was displayed on the purses and pouches made by Sioux and Chippewa women.

Finally, Edith Freeman’s painting of a beautiful patch of sagebrush completed my childhood flashback. For my people, sagebrush is very sacred. Used for medicinal and recreational purposes, this plant has always been used as a common household commodity. When burned and used as a “smudge,” it helps cleanse the individual or area. I can vividly remember late fall evenings walking along the Flathead Riverbanks cutting bundles of sagebrush to later dry and braid into long stalks. I remember the motions that I would do while getting cleansed before traditional ceremonies or before I left for my first day of school. 

This is just a single story of me. Many who see me do not recognize a woman who holds strong to her traditional roots. Many may not even see a Native American woman. But as Chimamanda Adichie said in her powerful presentation about the danger of a single story, "When we reject the single story, when we realize that there's never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise." I challenge us all to not just learn one story of each other, but as many as we can, to not overlook the many other stories that formed us as individuals. 

This is but a single story. 

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

This is how I feel on occasion when I am standing in front of a large group of people just babbling on and, in my head, forming zero coherent sentences. 

In actuality, I probably have had those moments. I know for a fact I've had many, many moments in the hot seat that have gone horridly wrong. 

Yet, I still get up there. Heart pounding, hands shaking, my bladder feeling as though it will burst any second. You would think that feeling would go away after logging countless times in the spot light; however, I thought the exact thing as I continually toed the start line of a race. Sure enough, I can always count on the flutterbees showing up, my bladder suddenly filling on its own accord seconds before the gun, and my heart racing a million miles a minute. 

I've learned to embrace these awful feelings as an athlete and channel them into my performance. Nerves are good. Ask anyone. Or, maybe ask your coach. They'll always tell you nerves are good, even if it does result in you peeing your pants. For real. Its happened to the best of us. 

Our class guest on Monday September 13, president of Bozeman's Toatmasters, said nearly the same thing. He noted how most athletes utilize their nerves as power, and the same can be done with those speaking publically. However, more speakers are still trying to figure out the conversion than athletes...at least I am. 

Before my speech on monday about my love for camp I looked over the Toastmasters International's 10 tips for public speaking. All of these ten tips are easily achievable for every individual, yet I know it's always easier said than done. For example, tip number two. Practice. Practice. Practice! 

Goodness! If only I had time to intermittently whip out my two minute speech throughout my daily schedule. Looking back it sounds almost silly to say. It's TWO minutes. But the hardest part about it is finding a safe place to practice. It's good to play around with your words, figure out which roll of the tongue easily, and those that don't. It's good to sound ridiculous. 

While practicing, don't forget to throw in your meat, (or tofu for me) your sizzle, and your style. We've all figured out by now that we are each their own unique person. We all have our own style, whether its the way we dress or the way we formulate our words! 

The biggest piece of advice I took from the day was to ask for feedback. People are inherently prone to ask for no feedback as opposed to hearing criticism. I'll admit, I don't enjoy hearing criticism, yet I know that hearing about what I don't see; in other words, my blind spot, gives me insight into the way I am perceived to others. And I personally, find that fascinating. 

Backcountry Decision Making

Due to the absence of simple black and white answers to very important questions, backcountry emergencies poise unique challenges. Rescuer needs, patient needs, and group needs are of absolute priority at every step of the process, as is gathering and sorting information for proper decision making.

As an outdoor leader with responsibility for friends, family, clients, students or even as an independent traveler with some medical knowledge, others look to me for guidance and order during a potentially chaotic situation. I have learned that this role requires an efficient system for gathering information, formulating a plan that addresses the needs of those involved, and delegating responsibility to others. While each event or situation will be unique, I have been taught throughout my backcountry medical training a system used for decision making in the backcountry that can be essentially universal.

In the medical field, we have five steps to decision making.
1. Scene Survey

• Scene Safety
• Number of patients- Is everyone accounted for? 

2. Patient Assessment

• Primary Survey
• Triage if there are multiple patients -Sort by injury/ patient priority
• Secondary Survey

3. Patient Needs

• Injury Severity
• Injury Management 
• Ambulatory Status

4. Situational Variables

• Group status: nutrition, hydration, rest, number
• Location: distance, terrain, time of day, and season
• Weather: worsening/ clearing, wind precipitation
• Resources available: splint/ litter materials, personnel, camping gear, communications, gear, first aid kits, etc. 

5. Developing a plan

• Should you stay or should you go?
• How/ when will you go?
• Do you require assistance?

These same points and sub points if you will can be used outside an emergency medical scenario. 

The three biggest things to remember; aside from keeping in mind the nasty little heuristics that easily impair ones judgement, are Developing a plan, prevention, and details. 

In the backcountry developing a plan is important for patient assessment, it is also critical when managing the scene and evacuation. It is just as important in the front country making so-called "simple" decisions such as when, where, and how to begin a large project for a class. Backcountry situations usually require a more comprehensive evaluation of the resources available, the personnel available, the patient's condition, the number of patients, the location and environmental conditions, and the condition of the remainder of the group. Considering each component of a good backcountry emergency plan is essential to ensuring proper patient care and group safety. However, it need not be overwhelming and can, in fact, be relatively straightforward. A plan is a guideline to keep everybody safe. It works almost the same way I use sticky notes and lists in my daily life. I use it as a guideline to follow so I don't become distracted and/ or become consumed in something that is not in need of immediate attention. If the plan needs to change, change it, but only for a good reason. Developing contingency plans is especially helpful in the ever-changing backcountry environment. 

Formulating a strategy for possible evacuation before entering the backcountry is the best way to mitigate many of the complications that are bound to arise during an emergency situation. This includes forethought on communications (eg. radio. spot phone, evacuation points) terrain hazards and evacuation routes, skills among your group and the other possible resources available to you. Careful planning takes time. Recognize this and your stress will immediately be reduced greatly. STOP and THINK. The operational principle in developing an effective plan is prioritization; taking the extra few minutes to organize your thoughts and consider the options will allow you to prioritize well. 

One thing to remember when you are busy developing plans, laying out prevention tools and remembering the details is to keep in mind of your own judgement. Our own heuristics and our judgement call in a situation can lead to complete failure in a medical call or completing a class project. John S. Hammond, Ralph L. Keeney, and Howard Raiffa refer to these heuristics as "traps" in their article, "The hidden Traps in Decision Making."

Many of the "traps" listed throughout this article are ultimately the same as the heuristics I learned in my medical training in backcountry medicine. The Heuristics such as familiarity, availability, frequency, hero, zero- sum, self- serving, gender, and affect are just a few mentioned throughout my medical training. Within the article of "The Hidden Traps in Decision Making," Hammond, Keeney and Raiffa have mentioned traps such as the status-quo, sunk- cost, confirming- evidence, framing,  estimating and forecasting, overconfidence, prudence.... All of these listed so far play into the ones I have been previously familiar with. 

We have all heard a story a skier or possibly a group of skiers out in mid february trying to make the first turns through the bowl after a long spell of now snow and now blessed with a heavy dump. But it's sunny out. The bowl isn't part of a resort. Its too early for an avalanche crew to hit it. And sure enough, the individuals who have been skiing this very bowl for years and years end up on the front page of the paper. Many, many decision making traps play into a tragic, yet common day such as this. Familiarity, availability, frequency, status- quo, hero, over- confidence and many more play into a day gone south.

To wrap all of this together, when we are out making decisions, we need to keep in mind our scene survey, patient assessment, patient needs, situational variables, and developing a plan. By following these five steps and taking preventative steps in the first place as well as remembering the tiny details, we can try our best to dodge those tricky traps and carry out our decisions in the best way possible. 

Kouses Exercise Chapter 3

I. Discovering my values
1. Embracing
2. Challenging
3. Encouraging
4. Supportive
5. Personal responsibility
6. Teaching
7. Commitment
8. Preparation and performance

1. Determined Commitment
2. Faith
3. Quality Improvement
4. Honesty
5. Strength
6. Insight

II. What Values Matter to me? 
1. Autonomy. Having the freedom to self- direction and self-sufficiency is a value I hold strong to. With Autonomy comes self-discipline and humility. 
2. Harmony. I value finding the balance in my life. The balance of my different roles- roles as a student, daughter, sister, significant other, athlete, community member and citizen. It is important to find a happy balance between every hat in life. 
3. Honesty and Integrity. This goes hand in hand with commitment. When I make a commitment with an individual I make it a priority to not back out under almost any circumstances. My word is my word. I chose to have enough integrity to follow through with my actions and words. 
4. Patience. I value my practice of patience. I use my practice daily, hourly even. The saying "patience is a virtue," holds true to my virtues. As an individual who needs to practice patience minute by minute I value myself more when I take a step back and breathe. I believe my family values me much more when I do the same. 
5. Spirituality and faith. Without my faith in creator, in my future I would have nothing to look forward to. My spirituality is my rock when I feel like I am falling and have nothing to lean against. 

III. Putting My Values Into Practice
Patience. In a previous blog I talked about my practice of patience this summer. As a camp counselor there is almost nothing more important than having patience. Whether it's patience with a difficult camper or having the ability to sit back and watch a moment of personal self discovery and improvement of a girl with a troubled history.
 I am not a prime example of patience; however, I greatly value it in my daily life and strive to consciously practice it whenever an opportunity arrises. 

Farmers Market! Hours 3&4

On Tuesday I headed town to the Farmers Market at Bogart Park. The process getting there was an adventure in itself. I realized I had never actually DRIVEN to Bogart before haha. I kept thinking in my head. "That moment when you can't find the Farmers Market because you've only run or biked there..." Perfect Facebook status, right?
Side note: Isn't it weird that this is how we think now? We don't take pictures just to take, we take them to post. We don't ask our friends about the new guy we just met, we stalk them on facebook. And we don't just blurt out witty sentences, we post them to see how many people "like" it. God we're weird. What would our grandparents think?
Anywayyy! I FINALLY made it right at 5:30 and donned my best smile and headed towards the delicious smells and wonderful music.
At first it was awkward. Unlike Safeway, I just had a clipboard and was expected to roam around, approaching anybody and everybody. I found I felt I was being intrusive on peoples evenings and not allowing them to just enjoy themselves. After making a couple laps around the pavillion I decided to post up near the entrance so I didn't feel as if I were disrupting shoppers.
It was interesting working there rather than out in front of the doors of Safeway. The energy for one is very different and the audience, well it's a bit selective at the Farmers Market; lets be honest. But it is also an audience that politicians are really wanting to hear from. My generation of audience in particular.
The highlight of my night no doubt was registering a convicted felon. In Montana, if you are not in prison and no longer serving your sentence in any way, you still have a right to vote. I honest to god almost started crying when we had completed the process. I made sure he was signed up for the monthly "in the know" newsletter and told him of a few other ways to get voter information. He was completely honest about not knowing a thing of what was going on, but I promised with our help he would be more informed than the majority of people. He was thrilled!
It gives me flutterbees just thinking about the feeling of elation I had while talking to him. There's something about giving an individual back a basic right that really makes you appreciate what you have and appreciate your own personal rights. I can't imagine living in a country where voter oppression is still happening. Especially women voter oppression. Or just the oppression of women. Wow. We have it pretty dang good here!
The beginning of the night started off slow but I managed to rake in 11 applications by the end. I assume I could've gotten a few more but I only had 11 blank ones on me! So either way, the night was absolutely a success.
My next shifts are this weekend, Saturday from 4-6 and Sunday 11-1 at Safeway!

Condoleezza Rice Convocation

Following our final applause of the night I quickly took a moment to reflect on the evening's events. It begun with a beautiful introduction speech by Kia Abbey, president of ASMSU. President Wadad Cruzado followed by giving an incredibly personable and empowering performance drawing upon three up and coming freshman students each with their own incredible background story. Then came the time of the night that everyone had been anticipating, the reason the entire Brick Breeden Field House had been filled to the brim. The introduction of Dr. Condoleezza Rice.
For some reason I was slightly shocked when she began to speak. I remember listening to her countless times on TV, watching her as she navigated press conference after press conference and countless interviews. There was something though, about listening to her through a television, then hearing her speak directly in front of me. She was soft. Her demeanor was light and relaxed. She was joking, laughing and smiling. I'll admit, it was a relief to see and it further fueled my excitement.
However, I was slightly taken aback when she dove into her speech and began listing off tragedies our country has suffered throughout our history. It was almost exactly what I had been expecting to hear. Political blabber. I've heard enough political blabber in the past months and plenty of political blabber from Dr. Rice throughout her position of Secretary of State. I wanted to reject her words in a way a sick body rejects a healthy transplant. Instead I remained patient, hoping the topic would switch into more inspiring tones. Thank goodness, because switch it did!
I began to relate to her words. The way she talked about her circular search for the right path to her future. The way it felt when she finally found her passion. I felt as though she was telling my very own story to the 8,000 some odd people in front of her.
I was particularly inspired when she encouraged us as students to challenge ourselves. I love pushing my own boundaries emotionally and physically. But when it comes to academics I tend to be more timid, carefully choosing classes that will; inevitably, be challenging but well worth it in the end. I do not however choose classes that are not "worth it." Say, for example being a Nursing student whose sore subject is math, I would not be one to willingly put myself in an upper division calculus class just for shits and giggles. You know what I mean? But after hearing her speak with such passion about the benefits of challenging oneself in every way you can, I'm inspired to continue to push my boundaries. Maybe not jump all the way up to calc 4 but maybe sign up for a public speaking class or maybe get involved in a new role around campus. The possibilities are endless!
In sum, I honestly did enjoy having Dr. Rice as convocation speaker for 2012. Although there may have been parts that didn't sit quite well, I was nevertheless impressed and pleased with the outcome. Especially the grand finale performance with Ilse-Mari Lee. The room was most definitely filled with inspiration as we all stood and gave our standing ovation and farewell.

Journal #3 Positive deviance

Behind every cohesive community, stands a good leader.What qualities do we look for in our leaders? Is it someone who will stick to the party platform? Someone with the largest cadre of foot soldiers and advisors? Someone who is sound bite savvy? Or, as I submit, someone with less tangible but more substantive virtues of soul, spirit, and faith. As citizens, we have the responsibility to be a leader, and create positive change. The way and why we view the world in terms of “doing good” is as important to the actions and examples of actually doing good.

Being a leader calls for creativity. When infusing incentives in a creative and innovative way the work place becomes a playground for success.   Leadership skills can be directed by encouraging a sense of connection and a sense of belonging within one’s social group. Reminding another of their accomplishments, taking responsibility for independent acts, and being generous with one’s time, values and taking a responsibility for their community creates respect and makes you a conscious leader. 

 Dan Pink submits there are three factors to better performance. Autonomy, mastery, and purpose. When one has the desire to be self directed, the urge to improve, and a feeling of use incredibly magical things happen. As seen in MIT studies, at a certain point high monetary incentives no longer are anomalous to higher performance. As David Rock claims, the brain is a social organ. Many of our psysiological and neurological reactions are exceptionally shaped by social interaction. He contradicts Maslow's theory of social needs to be in the middle of the pyramid, rather he submits it is on the same level as our instinctual need of survival.

How do our social needs connect to being a good employee or boss? Because when social interaction and innovation is encouraged, productivity increases. As leaders we can also follow Rock's 5 social qualities. These are status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. Formed into a fun little SCARF acronym Rock says you can visualize it as the "headgear an organization can wear to prevent exposure to dysfunction." 

When we utilize our SCARF as well as Pink's three factors to better performance; autonomy, mastery, and purpose, we can become better leaders of tomorrow.