Identity by design

I am from a land of jagged snow capped mountains and flowing waters.

I am from a land full of history waiting silently to be learned.

I am from parents who encourage adventure, spirit, and enthusiasm for the unknown. 

I am from a long line of chiefs and canyon runners.I am from earth, water, fire and wind. 

I am from the waters of Northern Minnesota. 

I am from solitude, independence, true thought, and travel. 

I am from my worst mistakes and largest successes. 

I am from trees, water, nature, stars, sunsets, dragonflies and the northern lights. 

I am from a land of jagged snow capped mountains and flowing waters. 

My name is Aewageshane. I am from a long line chiefs and maidens, I am from a land of jagged mountains tipped with snow and flowing water, I am from canyon lands and the hot grounds of Arizona. I am from a line of women who have taught me much of my culture through art. I have learned that art is a way of displaying a proud and unbroken tradition that links us to the generations of women who have come before us. 

Last year around this time, I attended an art viewing show hosted at the Emerson. Walking through the Montana Women in the Visual Arts Exhibit, there were many pieces that struck me with flash backs to my childhood. The elk tooth dress that had similar patterns and colors as my jingle dress I was to wear in my very first competition at the Arlee Pow-Wow was the first to catch my eye. This dress made of elk teeth and carved bone had a design layout much like my beloved dress. The way the bone curved in a half-circle around the collar, splaying outwards towards the hem, as well as the contrast in color was so similar to my very own that I felt as though it may have been mine. Comanche / Blackfoot woman Keri Jhane Myers said once, “When you wear your dress, you’re carrying the spirit of all the people who gave you the lessons of life, who made dresses before you –dresses that you can look at today and be inspired by.” Our native art and traditional clothing is such a strong link to our ancestors.  As we grow, we learn more about our past and who we are. Not only does it link us to our past, but it also bridges our culture to the future.

The next items to catch my eye were the Ya-ya dolls made out of real hair and scraps of fabric, the same dolls that I made with my most favorite and respected elder women at the Peoples Center in Pablo. I could almost smell the dried meat that would be cooking outside, and see Steven Small Salmon waiving around the tongs, laughing and telling tall tales. These elders are no longer around, however their words of wisdom remain with me today.

Then I see a piece of art that has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Caroline G. Granger painted a woman nurturing a child with her arms wrapped around, looking down adoringly. This is a picture whose pencil strokes are engrained in my brain, and is rampant throughout my house. My mother, an artist herself, has produced so many renditions of this piece incorporating the idea of Mother Theresa and a baby. However; her pieces much like Grangers, aren’t gaudy Christian pieces, they depict a dark skinned woman with long black braids wearing traditional clothing with a child in a cradleboard or wrapped in a Pendleton blanket. Throughout my infant years I was transported in a cradleboard adorned with beadwork much like the beading that was displayed on the purses and pouches made by Sioux and Chippewa women.

Finally, Edith Freeman’s painting of a beautiful patch of sagebrush completed my childhood flashback. For my people, sagebrush is very sacred. Used for medicinal and recreational purposes, this plant has always been used as a common household commodity. When burned and used as a “smudge,” it helps cleanse the individual or area. I can vividly remember late fall evenings walking along the Flathead Riverbanks cutting bundles of sagebrush to later dry and braid into long stalks. I remember the motions that I would do while getting cleansed before traditional ceremonies or before I left for my first day of school. 

This is just a single story of me. Many who see me do not recognize a woman who holds strong to her traditional roots. Many may not even see a Native American woman. But as Chimamanda Adichie said in her powerful presentation about the danger of a single story, "When we reject the single story, when we realize that there's never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise." I challenge us all to not just learn one story of each other, but as many as we can, to not overlook the many other stories that formed us as individuals. 

This is but a single story. 

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

This is how I feel on occasion when I am standing in front of a large group of people just babbling on and, in my head, forming zero coherent sentences. 

In actuality, I probably have had those moments. I know for a fact I've had many, many moments in the hot seat that have gone horridly wrong. 

Yet, I still get up there. Heart pounding, hands shaking, my bladder feeling as though it will burst any second. You would think that feeling would go away after logging countless times in the spot light; however, I thought the exact thing as I continually toed the start line of a race. Sure enough, I can always count on the flutterbees showing up, my bladder suddenly filling on its own accord seconds before the gun, and my heart racing a million miles a minute. 

I've learned to embrace these awful feelings as an athlete and channel them into my performance. Nerves are good. Ask anyone. Or, maybe ask your coach. They'll always tell you nerves are good, even if it does result in you peeing your pants. For real. Its happened to the best of us. 

Our class guest on Monday September 13, president of Bozeman's Toatmasters, said nearly the same thing. He noted how most athletes utilize their nerves as power, and the same can be done with those speaking publically. However, more speakers are still trying to figure out the conversion than athletes...at least I am. 

Before my speech on monday about my love for camp I looked over the Toastmasters International's 10 tips for public speaking. All of these ten tips are easily achievable for every individual, yet I know it's always easier said than done. For example, tip number two. Practice. Practice. Practice! 

Goodness! If only I had time to intermittently whip out my two minute speech throughout my daily schedule. Looking back it sounds almost silly to say. It's TWO minutes. But the hardest part about it is finding a safe place to practice. It's good to play around with your words, figure out which roll of the tongue easily, and those that don't. It's good to sound ridiculous. 

While practicing, don't forget to throw in your meat, (or tofu for me) your sizzle, and your style. We've all figured out by now that we are each their own unique person. We all have our own style, whether its the way we dress or the way we formulate our words! 

The biggest piece of advice I took from the day was to ask for feedback. People are inherently prone to ask for no feedback as opposed to hearing criticism. I'll admit, I don't enjoy hearing criticism, yet I know that hearing about what I don't see; in other words, my blind spot, gives me insight into the way I am perceived to others. And I personally, find that fascinating. 

Backcountry Decision Making

Due to the absence of simple black and white answers to very important questions, backcountry emergencies poise unique challenges. Rescuer needs, patient needs, and group needs are of absolute priority at every step of the process, as is gathering and sorting information for proper decision making.

As an outdoor leader with responsibility for friends, family, clients, students or even as an independent traveler with some medical knowledge, others look to me for guidance and order during a potentially chaotic situation. I have learned that this role requires an efficient system for gathering information, formulating a plan that addresses the needs of those involved, and delegating responsibility to others. While each event or situation will be unique, I have been taught throughout my backcountry medical training a system used for decision making in the backcountry that can be essentially universal.

In the medical field, we have five steps to decision making.
1. Scene Survey

• Scene Safety
• Number of patients- Is everyone accounted for? 

2. Patient Assessment

• Primary Survey
• Triage if there are multiple patients -Sort by injury/ patient priority
• Secondary Survey

3. Patient Needs

• Injury Severity
• Injury Management 
• Ambulatory Status

4. Situational Variables

• Group status: nutrition, hydration, rest, number
• Location: distance, terrain, time of day, and season
• Weather: worsening/ clearing, wind precipitation
• Resources available: splint/ litter materials, personnel, camping gear, communications, gear, first aid kits, etc. 

5. Developing a plan

• Should you stay or should you go?
• How/ when will you go?
• Do you require assistance?

These same points and sub points if you will can be used outside an emergency medical scenario. 

The three biggest things to remember; aside from keeping in mind the nasty little heuristics that easily impair ones judgement, are Developing a plan, prevention, and details. 

In the backcountry developing a plan is important for patient assessment, it is also critical when managing the scene and evacuation. It is just as important in the front country making so-called "simple" decisions such as when, where, and how to begin a large project for a class. Backcountry situations usually require a more comprehensive evaluation of the resources available, the personnel available, the patient's condition, the number of patients, the location and environmental conditions, and the condition of the remainder of the group. Considering each component of a good backcountry emergency plan is essential to ensuring proper patient care and group safety. However, it need not be overwhelming and can, in fact, be relatively straightforward. A plan is a guideline to keep everybody safe. It works almost the same way I use sticky notes and lists in my daily life. I use it as a guideline to follow so I don't become distracted and/ or become consumed in something that is not in need of immediate attention. If the plan needs to change, change it, but only for a good reason. Developing contingency plans is especially helpful in the ever-changing backcountry environment. 

Formulating a strategy for possible evacuation before entering the backcountry is the best way to mitigate many of the complications that are bound to arise during an emergency situation. This includes forethought on communications (eg. radio. spot phone, evacuation points) terrain hazards and evacuation routes, skills among your group and the other possible resources available to you. Careful planning takes time. Recognize this and your stress will immediately be reduced greatly. STOP and THINK. The operational principle in developing an effective plan is prioritization; taking the extra few minutes to organize your thoughts and consider the options will allow you to prioritize well. 

One thing to remember when you are busy developing plans, laying out prevention tools and remembering the details is to keep in mind of your own judgement. Our own heuristics and our judgement call in a situation can lead to complete failure in a medical call or completing a class project. John S. Hammond, Ralph L. Keeney, and Howard Raiffa refer to these heuristics as "traps" in their article, "The hidden Traps in Decision Making."

Many of the "traps" listed throughout this article are ultimately the same as the heuristics I learned in my medical training in backcountry medicine. The Heuristics such as familiarity, availability, frequency, hero, zero- sum, self- serving, gender, and affect are just a few mentioned throughout my medical training. Within the article of "The Hidden Traps in Decision Making," Hammond, Keeney and Raiffa have mentioned traps such as the status-quo, sunk- cost, confirming- evidence, framing,  estimating and forecasting, overconfidence, prudence.... All of these listed so far play into the ones I have been previously familiar with. 

We have all heard a story a skier or possibly a group of skiers out in mid february trying to make the first turns through the bowl after a long spell of now snow and now blessed with a heavy dump. But it's sunny out. The bowl isn't part of a resort. Its too early for an avalanche crew to hit it. And sure enough, the individuals who have been skiing this very bowl for years and years end up on the front page of the paper. Many, many decision making traps play into a tragic, yet common day such as this. Familiarity, availability, frequency, status- quo, hero, over- confidence and many more play into a day gone south.

To wrap all of this together, when we are out making decisions, we need to keep in mind our scene survey, patient assessment, patient needs, situational variables, and developing a plan. By following these five steps and taking preventative steps in the first place as well as remembering the tiny details, we can try our best to dodge those tricky traps and carry out our decisions in the best way possible. 

Kouses Exercise Chapter 3

I. Discovering my values
1. Embracing
2. Challenging
3. Encouraging
4. Supportive
5. Personal responsibility
6. Teaching
7. Commitment
8. Preparation and performance

1. Determined Commitment
2. Faith
3. Quality Improvement
4. Honesty
5. Strength
6. Insight

II. What Values Matter to me? 
1. Autonomy. Having the freedom to self- direction and self-sufficiency is a value I hold strong to. With Autonomy comes self-discipline and humility. 
2. Harmony. I value finding the balance in my life. The balance of my different roles- roles as a student, daughter, sister, significant other, athlete, community member and citizen. It is important to find a happy balance between every hat in life. 
3. Honesty and Integrity. This goes hand in hand with commitment. When I make a commitment with an individual I make it a priority to not back out under almost any circumstances. My word is my word. I chose to have enough integrity to follow through with my actions and words. 
4. Patience. I value my practice of patience. I use my practice daily, hourly even. The saying "patience is a virtue," holds true to my virtues. As an individual who needs to practice patience minute by minute I value myself more when I take a step back and breathe. I believe my family values me much more when I do the same. 
5. Spirituality and faith. Without my faith in creator, in my future I would have nothing to look forward to. My spirituality is my rock when I feel like I am falling and have nothing to lean against. 

III. Putting My Values Into Practice
Patience. In a previous blog I talked about my practice of patience this summer. As a camp counselor there is almost nothing more important than having patience. Whether it's patience with a difficult camper or having the ability to sit back and watch a moment of personal self discovery and improvement of a girl with a troubled history.
 I am not a prime example of patience; however, I greatly value it in my daily life and strive to consciously practice it whenever an opportunity arrises. 

Farmers Market! Hours 3&4

On Tuesday I headed town to the Farmers Market at Bogart Park. The process getting there was an adventure in itself. I realized I had never actually DRIVEN to Bogart before haha. I kept thinking in my head. "That moment when you can't find the Farmers Market because you've only run or biked there..." Perfect Facebook status, right?
Side note: Isn't it weird that this is how we think now? We don't take pictures just to take, we take them to post. We don't ask our friends about the new guy we just met, we stalk them on facebook. And we don't just blurt out witty sentences, we post them to see how many people "like" it. God we're weird. What would our grandparents think?
Anywayyy! I FINALLY made it right at 5:30 and donned my best smile and headed towards the delicious smells and wonderful music.
At first it was awkward. Unlike Safeway, I just had a clipboard and was expected to roam around, approaching anybody and everybody. I found I felt I was being intrusive on peoples evenings and not allowing them to just enjoy themselves. After making a couple laps around the pavillion I decided to post up near the entrance so I didn't feel as if I were disrupting shoppers.
It was interesting working there rather than out in front of the doors of Safeway. The energy for one is very different and the audience, well it's a bit selective at the Farmers Market; lets be honest. But it is also an audience that politicians are really wanting to hear from. My generation of audience in particular.
The highlight of my night no doubt was registering a convicted felon. In Montana, if you are not in prison and no longer serving your sentence in any way, you still have a right to vote. I honest to god almost started crying when we had completed the process. I made sure he was signed up for the monthly "in the know" newsletter and told him of a few other ways to get voter information. He was completely honest about not knowing a thing of what was going on, but I promised with our help he would be more informed than the majority of people. He was thrilled!
It gives me flutterbees just thinking about the feeling of elation I had while talking to him. There's something about giving an individual back a basic right that really makes you appreciate what you have and appreciate your own personal rights. I can't imagine living in a country where voter oppression is still happening. Especially women voter oppression. Or just the oppression of women. Wow. We have it pretty dang good here!
The beginning of the night started off slow but I managed to rake in 11 applications by the end. I assume I could've gotten a few more but I only had 11 blank ones on me! So either way, the night was absolutely a success.
My next shifts are this weekend, Saturday from 4-6 and Sunday 11-1 at Safeway!

Condoleezza Rice Convocation

Following our final applause of the night I quickly took a moment to reflect on the evening's events. It begun with a beautiful introduction speech by Kia Abbey, president of ASMSU. President Wadad Cruzado followed by giving an incredibly personable and empowering performance drawing upon three up and coming freshman students each with their own incredible background story. Then came the time of the night that everyone had been anticipating, the reason the entire Brick Breeden Field House had been filled to the brim. The introduction of Dr. Condoleezza Rice.
For some reason I was slightly shocked when she began to speak. I remember listening to her countless times on TV, watching her as she navigated press conference after press conference and countless interviews. There was something though, about listening to her through a television, then hearing her speak directly in front of me. She was soft. Her demeanor was light and relaxed. She was joking, laughing and smiling. I'll admit, it was a relief to see and it further fueled my excitement.
However, I was slightly taken aback when she dove into her speech and began listing off tragedies our country has suffered throughout our history. It was almost exactly what I had been expecting to hear. Political blabber. I've heard enough political blabber in the past months and plenty of political blabber from Dr. Rice throughout her position of Secretary of State. I wanted to reject her words in a way a sick body rejects a healthy transplant. Instead I remained patient, hoping the topic would switch into more inspiring tones. Thank goodness, because switch it did!
I began to relate to her words. The way she talked about her circular search for the right path to her future. The way it felt when she finally found her passion. I felt as though she was telling my very own story to the 8,000 some odd people in front of her.
I was particularly inspired when she encouraged us as students to challenge ourselves. I love pushing my own boundaries emotionally and physically. But when it comes to academics I tend to be more timid, carefully choosing classes that will; inevitably, be challenging but well worth it in the end. I do not however choose classes that are not "worth it." Say, for example being a Nursing student whose sore subject is math, I would not be one to willingly put myself in an upper division calculus class just for shits and giggles. You know what I mean? But after hearing her speak with such passion about the benefits of challenging oneself in every way you can, I'm inspired to continue to push my boundaries. Maybe not jump all the way up to calc 4 but maybe sign up for a public speaking class or maybe get involved in a new role around campus. The possibilities are endless!
In sum, I honestly did enjoy having Dr. Rice as convocation speaker for 2012. Although there may have been parts that didn't sit quite well, I was nevertheless impressed and pleased with the outcome. Especially the grand finale performance with Ilse-Mari Lee. The room was most definitely filled with inspiration as we all stood and gave our standing ovation and farewell.

Journal #3 Positive deviance

Behind every cohesive community, stands a good leader.What qualities do we look for in our leaders? Is it someone who will stick to the party platform? Someone with the largest cadre of foot soldiers and advisors? Someone who is sound bite savvy? Or, as I submit, someone with less tangible but more substantive virtues of soul, spirit, and faith. As citizens, we have the responsibility to be a leader, and create positive change. The way and why we view the world in terms of “doing good” is as important to the actions and examples of actually doing good.

Being a leader calls for creativity. When infusing incentives in a creative and innovative way the work place becomes a playground for success.   Leadership skills can be directed by encouraging a sense of connection and a sense of belonging within one’s social group. Reminding another of their accomplishments, taking responsibility for independent acts, and being generous with one’s time, values and taking a responsibility for their community creates respect and makes you a conscious leader. 

 Dan Pink submits there are three factors to better performance. Autonomy, mastery, and purpose. When one has the desire to be self directed, the urge to improve, and a feeling of use incredibly magical things happen. As seen in MIT studies, at a certain point high monetary incentives no longer are anomalous to higher performance. As David Rock claims, the brain is a social organ. Many of our psysiological and neurological reactions are exceptionally shaped by social interaction. He contradicts Maslow's theory of social needs to be in the middle of the pyramid, rather he submits it is on the same level as our instinctual need of survival.

How do our social needs connect to being a good employee or boss? Because when social interaction and innovation is encouraged, productivity increases. As leaders we can also follow Rock's 5 social qualities. These are status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. Formed into a fun little SCARF acronym Rock says you can visualize it as the "headgear an organization can wear to prevent exposure to dysfunction." 

When we utilize our SCARF as well as Pink's three factors to better performance; autonomy, mastery, and purpose, we can become better leaders of tomorrow.