Worst enemy, best teacher

After a particularly nasty fight with my mom, I remember her coming into my room and sitting down with me. She talked about the pain, anger, and despair that she went through when she lost her loved big brother, Billy Scott.  I've always known there are some parts of her she doesn't talk much about, and parts that I still know very little about, so when she started talking about Billy, I perked up immediately.
In addition to the tragic hit and run story of Billy's death, she listed off at least five other events that have changed her drastically. She told me even though she had endured so much that she is appreciative and she is grateful.
She began laying out just how fortunate I was to have all the privileges I take for granted every day. Like education. And a family who has the ability to support me in everything and anything I have ever dreamt of doing. I began realizing it was not like this for my mom. She started to open up her scars for me to feel and to appreciate. She told me thanks to her moments of disruption and chaos that she appreciates every day with even more gratitude. She is grateful. Her joy and happiness that she carries every day is awe-inspiring.
Following weeks after she told me some of her stories I marveled at how well she was able to store her pain away and greet every day with so much love.
But looking back it makes sense.
I've met a few individuals who have cheated death to the most extreme levels. Because of their tragic and shocking event, they suddenly had a changed outlook in life. Every day was a gift to them. Life changing events propels one to appreciate the things that we overlook so easily.
The same can be seen with conflict.
Deidre says, with conflict comes gratitude. Not only are we grateful for the learning experience, but we are grateful for our opponent as well.
In my first journal entry I talk about the push and pull. How we meet resistance before moving further. Conflict acts in the same way. As Combs says, "The tough needs to come before good can occur."
I admit, when I am in the heat of the moment or am in an argument that appears to have no way out I do not see any good coming out of it. I actually experienced this very thing this weekend while registering people to vote, but that is for another blog post.
I recognize that though conflict and even tragedy is messy, risky and scary, it is also the very thing we need to push us forward.